It’s been 8 years and 3 months since I stepped into the kaleidoscopic world of motherhood. In July 2002, a store bought pregnancy test confirmed the change in my status from ‘-‘ to ‘+’! For 3 seconds I hugged myself knowing that for the moment I was the only one in the whole world aware of what was yet to be. I passed on the news to a beaming Jerry! Little did we realize how our world would change! How much more varied and colourful and chaotic and fuller it would get!
Now 8 years later, with two children, I have no memory of my life before being a mom. If I do try to remember, it takes on a monochromatic hue. Yes, those were also good times. Times when the house was not an obstacle course littered with toys. Times when we didn’t have to think of baby-sitting options before we decided on a night out. When my time was pretty much my time. Where I wouldn’t constantly be interrupted while reading a much longed for book. Where I didn’t have to play ‘Umpire’ and sort out arguments that arise between Diya and Dhruv. But would I want to go back to that time?
We did a trial run during the summer holidays. We sent both the kids to my mom’s place for a week. It was a week of utter boredom! We missed the noise two active kids make. We missed the mess they made! We missed their incessant demands for all things needed Now,Now,Now!
We went out on a dinner date. Thinking that it would be nice to just listen to each other talk. 5 minutes into dinner, we realized that our entire conversation still revolved around Dhruv and Diya. Our lives had changed so irrevocably, our identities had morphed so completely into mommy and daddy that it was futile to expect things, or us, to be otherwise.
So to answer the question – would I want to go back to that time? Not a chance! This is my life. This is me. I am a mommy and I am loving it!
